I spent some time exploring the town, trading some things, finding food, stuff like that. Some arrogant looking man was wandering through the streets complaining loudly about some girl choosing some other guy:
“I fought a frostbite spider,” I say because whomever created this world didn’t think frostbite or horse-sized spiders were bad enough on their own.
“How am I ever going to win her back?” said Mr. Arrogant.
“I was with Hadvar,” I add. “We also found a bear but I didn’t fight him because he just stood there doing his I’m-so-scary-dance so I went around him, but Hadvar is a terminator so he just kind of went through him. Poor bear didn’t stand a chance.”
The man looked at me a moment and said “I know how to get her!”
Oh good, we’re on the same page then…
He gives me a scathing letter listing everything wrong with his beloved because he’s just that charming. He asks me to give it to her and tell her it’s from the other man, then bounds away in glee; we’re all here to serve you, guy.
Later I ran into her and I passed her the letter, but I told her exactly who wrote it and why. You’re welcome.
AnankeRose
The Oubliette 
Talk to me, Goose: