Tag Archives: fire

Skyrim: Swan Dive

I’m not moving.

I’m just standing there as panicked people spontaneously combust around me.

The terminator took off towards a door but I remain still. A brief experiment reveals I can now move on my own. Of course. NOW I can move. A fine time to be abandoned by my  possessors but all things considered they clearly want me dead.  This seems illogical. Never-the-less I attempt to run after my terminator and find I move with the grace of a newborn foal.

HOW MANY THUMBS AM I SUPPOSED TO HAVE?!

I stumble into the building my terminator disappeared into and find more people in a panic. Less of them are on fire though, so I figure we’re better off than before. I look around for Ulfric Stormcloak since the dragon came quite strategically and I’m no dummy but he’s no where to be seen.

The terminator informs me if we can make it to the something-or-another we should be safe and then takes off up the stairs. I’m a little confused, but I guess they don’t do so well with fire considering they’re made of metal.

I follow him up drunkenly and he yells, “follow me!” and jumps out a window. Maybe he wasn’t programmed to understand the vulnerabilities of humans? But then it occurs to me that no one ever said I was human, so I proceed to belly-flop into a burning pile of wood.

“Your hands are bound,” says the screen helpfully.

 

Wanna play a game…?

 

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