Tag Archives: fun

Skyrim: Lydia the Psychopath

Today some dude randomly came running at me with his sword. I guess he was guarding a cave or something and we got too close?

Anyway, I’m standing there waiting for him to hit me so I don’t feel bad about fighting back, when Lydia just completely lost it. She jumps in front of me and just slaughters this guy and all his friends. Whoa.

So then we go into this dark, creepy cave and she’s all “I have a bad feeling about this…” Yes, Lydia. Thank you. I got that. But then I’m scrounging for food for us and she starts yawning.  I’m sorry, is my search for life giving sustenance boring you?!

Anyway, it wouldn’t let me thank her for killing that guy, and now that I know she’s apparently a psychopath I definitely want to stay on her good side, so I bought her a health necklace and an enchanted ring to boost her stamina.

Of course when I gave them to her she got all sarcastic again, *sigh* “I’m sworn to carry your burdens…” and I thought that was a little unfair, so I also bought her a horned helmet.

She looks very silly.

 

Wanna play a game…?

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Skyrim: No one’s ever given me a girl before…

Today I killed a dragon; then I ate his soul. It’s complicated.  But now I can get people away from me by yelling at them and that’s pretty cool. The Jarl was so happy I saved the town he gave me a lot of stuff I can’t carry. Then he gave me a girl to help carry it, which was sweet, but now I have a girl following me around.

She seems to have a bit of a chip on her shoulder though. It’s hardly my fault the Jarl gave her to me. I tried to tell her I wasn’t comfortable owning her, but she was welcome to stay as a friend of her own free will – but the game wouldn’t let me express that properly.

She keeps asking how she can help so I asked her to carry some things for me to help her feel useful, because I know *I* like to feel useful, but she got snippy with me about it:

*sigh* “I’m sworn to carry your burdens…”

Maybe I’ll trade her for a dog. Dogs are never sarcastic about helping. No one’s ever given me a girl before.

***

It’s been a few days and Lydia (the girl) is still following me around and being snarky about carrying things. I’m trying to figure out if I need to feed her and make sure she sleeps or if she takes care of herself.

Can she die? What happens if I hit her? If I run into her she says “ouch” so I know she can feel…

It seems weird to just be all “okay… I’m going to bed… are you just going to stand there and stare at me all night…?”

Apparently I can tell her to wait places and she will. Can I leave her in the middle of nowhere? That seems dangerous. Shouldn’t I put her somewhere safe??

 

Wanna play a game…?


Skyrim: Welcome to Riverwood

Hadvar leads me to a town called Riverwood and introduces me to a couple there. He makes himself at home and begins babbling about Stormcloaks and dragons again. Really, I’ll need to teach him some new phrases.

“Well you’re pretty, I’ll give you that, ” says the lady of the house, “just stay away from my husband.”  I’m just full of good impressions it seems. I wonder if I’ll meet anyone in this world who doesn’t think the worst of me right away.

I wander around and find they seem to be okay with my taking one of everything, but I don’t. *I* find a bookcase. There can’t have been more than ten books on it but believe me I read them all.

Meanwhile, the terminator is trying to recruit me to join the Imperial Army because he can’t seem to remember the part where they tried to have me beheaded. He tells me to go to Whiterun and talk to the Jarl. As soon as he says this, those words roll up my screen like some great presentation but no one else seems to notice. I discover some menu buttons and figure this is now my mission.

I go back to reading books.

******

At some point during my reading I managed to wedge myself between the bookcase and a barrel. Despite the fact the barrel was empty, I couldn’t just push it out of the way because apparently I’m a huge wuss. I jumped around, ran into things, and generally made a huge commotion but the three other people in the room must have thought I’d turned rabid or something because no one came to help me.

Somewhere in the course of my cornered animal-like panic, I discovered I am MAGIC because I ended up shooting a fireball and igniting the wall of the house. I felt pretty bad about that but no one else seemed to notice or react in any way at all. I can’t help but think the force of the blast should have moved the barrel for me but physics seems to be broken today.

When I finally broke out I inspected the wall thoroughly and it wasn’t on fire anymore and there didn’t seem to be any damage. No one said anything about it but I helped the man forge some weapons for his shop later in an attempt to make amends.  Sorry I almost burned down your house, guy.

 

Wanna play a game…?


Skyrim: You’re getting awfully judgey, Screen.

I don’t know how but I somehow managed to not die a fiery death that day. Through a series of uncoordinated and clumsy movements I managed to catch up to the terminator, who stood patiently waiting among the chaos.

As  I approached him, he took off toward another building then stopped to watch me lumber along behind him. When I caught up he went in. I’m starting to sense a pattern here.

Inside, the terminator began babbling about dragons and Stormcloaks, which seemed a bit silly for a robot from the future, but I just kept my mouth shut and followed  him around like Igor from a Mel Brooks movie. This turned out to be a good strategy because he unbound my hands.

“Pickpocket Hadvar?” asked the screen. Oh. He has a name. Well that’s good. But stealing from a killer machine who just unbound my hands seems ungrateful at the very least.

“Let’s get you some supplies,” says Hadvar. So I wander off to explore the room.

“Pick lock?” my screen asks as I approach a prison cell. Picking locks and stealing from others, huh? You certainly don’t have a very high opinion of me, Screen. But why not? It looks empty to me… 

So I picked that lock and every other lock in the room. I also picked up everything I could and practiced moving around and jumping for a while. The terminator watched this all stoically from the door. An hour later I approached him.

“Are you done?”

Why yes, Hadvar, I’ve had my fill of this room. Lead on!

I’ll say one thing for him, he’s extremely patient. 

 

Wanna play a game…?

 


Skyrim: Swan Dive

I’m not moving.

I’m just standing there as panicked people spontaneously combust around me.

The terminator took off towards a door but I remain still. A brief experiment reveals I can now move on my own. Of course. NOW I can move. A fine time to be abandoned by my  possessors but all things considered they clearly want me dead.  This seems illogical. Never-the-less I attempt to run after my terminator and find I move with the grace of a newborn foal.

HOW MANY THUMBS AM I SUPPOSED TO HAVE?!

I stumble into the building my terminator disappeared into and find more people in a panic. Less of them are on fire though, so I figure we’re better off than before. I look around for Ulfric Stormcloak since the dragon came quite strategically and I’m no dummy but he’s no where to be seen.

The terminator informs me if we can make it to the something-or-another we should be safe and then takes off up the stairs. I’m a little confused, but I guess they don’t do so well with fire considering they’re made of metal.

I follow him up drunkenly and he yells, “follow me!” and jumps out a window. Maybe he wasn’t programmed to understand the vulnerabilities of humans? But then it occurs to me that no one ever said I was human, so I proceed to belly-flop into a burning pile of wood.

“Your hands are bound,” says the screen helpfully.

 

Wanna play a game…?

 


I think your brain is sexy.

Wow, I don’t really know how to respond to that. Mostly because I take a lot of things at face value and my first thought was quite literal.

Hot.

Hot.

So what am I doing today?

I’ll tell you what I’m not doing today.

I’m not doing any house work or homework or prepping for the week.

I’m not cleaning or organizing or cooking or planning for a potential move.

I’m not doing laundry or dishes, or the million other things written on the various to do lists I’ve made and promptly misplaced.

I’m not implementing any of the efficient systems I’ve created in my mind to make my life easier.

I’m not working on any of the half-finished or barely begun projects sitting neglected around the house.

I’m not crafting, planning or being productive in any way.

I’m pretty sure there’s someone in my yard – I am not going to check.

I am not running errands.

What I am doing is trying to figure out how I, personally, can draw a meerkat and a weasel and have them be identifiably different.  I’m a long way from being an artist. And why does spell check tell me meerkat is spelled wrong (twice)? Maybe it’s never been to a zoo.

I am also wondering why my dog is licking my toe and why beeswax smells like sunshine.

I am considering drinking champagne.

I am questioning if there’s a way to calculate the speed of thought and how it compares to the speed of light. Probably it’s different for everyone. Maybe I’ll research this later.

I may light some candles and make more coffee. I love coffee.

I wonder if my head will every stop hurting and why my feet always itch.

It almost smells like snow.

I’m comforted by the sound of my dog snoring.

I hope it rains.

My brain is swirling in a million directions but me? I am sitting still.


It’s all true. The government is spying on us.

YEP, another post today. But this one happened yesterday. And sort of the day before. So I am writing this from the past. Which is actually relevant, for once.

——————————————————–

SO, does this ever happen to you??

HA!! (Source)

Okay, so not really that. I mean you think of something and decide you want to know more about it. So you look it up. And while reading that you come across something else you find interesting and look that up. This leads you to something else and before you know it you’re lost in a sea of knowledge drifting ever further from where you began until you don’t even know how you got there.

Yeah. That happens to me a lot.

So this time, I started by looking up something and an hour later found myself looking at this:

Science. (Source)

Why yes, I do want the color exaggerated version, NASA. You know me so well.

Pretty nice work-up, though obviously fake.

No. Courtesy of the Cassini Solstice Mission. And the best part is we’re in it.

Hi Mom!!

Hi Mom!! (click to expand)

Seriously.

Ta-Da! (Source)

Fun fact: That little blurry bit at about the 10 o’clock position on the other little blurry Earth bit, is the moon.

So now I am going down the rabbit hole and I must know why NASA has this picture of me.  Should I be worried? Am I being stalked by Cassini from space? Do I need a restraining order or is there a moon-made ring in my future?

It’s time to roll up those sleeves, because we’re diving in.

So according to the official data, this is a compilation of 165 images taken by Cassini’s multiple instruments over a period of 3 hours on September 15, 2006.  One of these instruments can image a 2.4cm area from a distance of 4km.  This particular series covers 260km (or 162miles) per pixel.  I’ll give you a minute to let that sink in….

Also, this is a picture of Earth from the past.

Okay, yes. I know, all pictures are from the past. And I did just say this was taken in 2006. I got it. But stay with me here.

As I looked at this, I began wondering how far in the past the Earth was from the point of view of Cassini.  Not how old, how far in the past. For example, the Earth is roughly 8.33 light minutes from the sun.  So technically if you notice the sun is glaring off your computer screen like it does, it was actually in the position to do so 8.33 minutes ago and has since moved on.  You’re seeing the sun on an 8 minute delay.  Still with me? Good.

Now, Saturn is roughly ten times as far from the sun as the Earth and, as you can see, Cassini took this photo from beyond Saturn while facing the sun. So I looked into the statistics and found that Cassini was 2.2 million km from Saturn when it took this:

1 light minute = 17,987,547.5km

2,200,000km / 17,987,547.5km = 0.1223 light minutes OR roughly 7.3 light seconds

This means Saturn was roughly 7.3 seconds in the past to Cassini at the time the images were captured.

Also, Cassini was 1.5 billion km from Earth:

1,500,000,000km / 17,987,547.5km = 83.391 light minutes

Which means Earth was roughly 83.4 minutes in the past to Cassini at the time the images were taken.

So really what we’re looking at is:

Math happened. Click to expand.

Imagine you are Cassini. And math happened. (click to expand)

These images were then sent to Earth via one way radio transmission at the speed of light taking roughly 1hr 24min to get here.

Now who says science isn’t fun??


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