Tag Archives: pain

Ananke Rose. In the library. With the pitchfork.

So this is a conversation that happened today between someone who is in no way a medical professional, me, and my brain:

 So your doctor doesn’t know what’s causing your headaches?

Not really, but they’ve run all sorts of tests. I just started a new medication.

I think you need to take some time to focus on you.

Who is it that you think I focus on…?

You should really start exercising.

Excuse me?

That was bold.

I had some headaches once and it really helped me.

Oh.

I see where this is going.

You know, just start walking or something. I think it would help take your mind off your head pain.

And on my hip pain…?

Have you considered it might be stress?

I’ve had a headache for 8 months. Straight. Yeah, I’ve thought of that.

Yes.

How do you feel about prescription medications?

I’m on six of them.

Do you seriously think I’m not taking anything???

You should be taking Xanax.

Umm…

That’s so weird… You don’t LOOK like my neurologist…

It would really help you relax.

I see.

*looks around the room* who are you talking to??

Seriously. Ask your doctor about Xanax.

You don’t look like my T.V. either… I’m pretty sure if my doctor wanted me to take Xanax, he’d prescribe it…

You are just way too stressed.

Thank you for trying to help.

Have you even met me…?

 

I don’t even know what to say about that.

 

 

 

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You’re Awesome, but Also a Little Creepy: Part One

So, if I’m being completely honest, I’m a bit torn as to how I feel about the amazing thing that is my brain.

In case you forgot what it looks like

In case you forgot what it looks like

On the one hand, there are an awful lot of reasons why it’s pretty damn awesome. For instance, I’m currently taking 6, count them 6, prescription medications every day. Side effects of this veritable pharmacy include:

  • Prescription 1 – dizziness, nausea, stomach cramps, weight gain, blood clots, depression
  • Prescription 2 – nausea, stomach cramps, high blood pressure, mood changes, excessive sweating, involuntary quivering, irritability
  • Prescription 3 – dizziness, nausea, stomach cramps, low energy, involuntary quivering, confusion, taste problems
  • Prescription 4 – dizziness, nausea, low energy, low blood pressure, swelling of the extremities, random lactation
  • Prescription 5 – drowsiness, nausea, stomach cramps, weight gain, random drops in blood pressure, mood changes, excessive sweating, involuntary quivering, restlessness, confusion, delusions, inability to focus
  • Prescription 6 – dizziness, drowsiness, nausea, weight gain, low energy, low blood pressure, mood changes, involuntary quivering, swelling of the extremities, blurred vision, inability to focus

And they come with warnings like:

  • Prescription 1 – Avoid grapefruits at all costs. (Why just grapefruit? Why not all citrus? Why is grapefruit special? I must look into this…)
  • Prescription 2 – Do not stop taking this medication without first consulting with your doctor. [This prescription type] is usually taken for life.
  • Prescription 3 – Limit alcoholic beverages. Avoid grapefruit at all costs.
  • Prescription 4 – This drug may make you dizzy. Do not drive, use machinery, or do any activity that requires alertness until you are sure you can perform such activities safely. Limit alcoholic beverages.
  • Prescription 5 – This drug may make you drowsy or cause blurred vision. Do not drive, use machinery, or do any activity that requires alertness or clear vision until you are sure you can perform such activities safely. Avoid alcoholic beverages. Do not stop taking this medication without consulting your doctor. Some conditions may become worse when this drug is suddenly stopped. Also, you may experience symptoms such as mood swings, headache, tiredness, sleep changes, and brief feelings similar to electric shock.
  • Prescription 6 – This drug may make you dizzy or drowsy or cause blurred vision. Do not drive, use machinery, or do any activity that requires alertness or clear vision until you are sure you can perform such activities safely. Limit alcoholic beverages. Do not stop taking this medication without consulting your doctor. Some conditions may become worse when the drug is suddenly stopped. Your dose may need to be gradually decreased. If you are taking this medication 3 times a day, do not let more than 12 hours pass between doses because you may have a seizure. Also, the grapefruit thing again.

Perhaps you notice the pattern here.

Really, it’s any wonder I’m not wandering around constantly nauseated because I’m so damn dizzy all the time, all the while shaking uncontrollably and being moody, confused, and generally terrified of alcohol. And grapefruit.

Google image search for “creepy grapefruit.” Seriously.

It’s seems to me, despite the ridiculous ways in which life has seen fit to completely fuck me up, my brain (and body) have done a pretty good job of remaining sane and functional. Here’s to you, Me:

yay.

 

Are you lost? See Part Two and Part Three


I think your brain is sexy.

Wow, I don’t really know how to respond to that. Mostly because I take a lot of things at face value and my first thought was quite literal.

Hot.

Hot.

So what am I doing today?

I’ll tell you what I’m not doing today.

I’m not doing any house work or homework or prepping for the week.

I’m not cleaning or organizing or cooking or planning for a potential move.

I’m not doing laundry or dishes, or the million other things written on the various to do lists I’ve made and promptly misplaced.

I’m not implementing any of the efficient systems I’ve created in my mind to make my life easier.

I’m not working on any of the half-finished or barely begun projects sitting neglected around the house.

I’m not crafting, planning or being productive in any way.

I’m pretty sure there’s someone in my yard – I am not going to check.

I am not running errands.

What I am doing is trying to figure out how I, personally, can draw a meerkat and a weasel and have them be identifiably different.  I’m a long way from being an artist. And why does spell check tell me meerkat is spelled wrong (twice)? Maybe it’s never been to a zoo.

I am also wondering why my dog is licking my toe and why beeswax smells like sunshine.

I am considering drinking champagne.

I am questioning if there’s a way to calculate the speed of thought and how it compares to the speed of light. Probably it’s different for everyone. Maybe I’ll research this later.

I may light some candles and make more coffee. I love coffee.

I wonder if my head will every stop hurting and why my feet always itch.

It almost smells like snow.

I’m comforted by the sound of my dog snoring.

I hope it rains.

My brain is swirling in a million directions but me? I am sitting still.


These chains that I wear? They bore me.

I know, I know. I already posted today. What a ham. But really this happened on the 17th, and this place wasn’t real yet. So bear with me.

—————–

Things that happened in my head today. Er… two days ago:

PINCH THE FROG! Whoa, poor frog.  It’s like I’ve been stabbed in the gut. Or
kicked and stomped and then stabbed.  It’s rather uncomfortable.  It’s not
the frog’s fault though.

First Google image hit for “Pinch the Frog” (source)

Where are you, Chekhov? Engage the thrusters.
It’s like working in a zoo, but I failed the test. I do not have a
zookeepers license or credentials… and this damn monkey just Wont. Stop.
Laughing. I hate monkeys.
This guy has a silly snork too.  what’s a silly snork?

This, apparently. (source)

And then he dies in fits and boils. Not the snork.
Why do people say “it’s all natural” like that makes it automatically good?
Heroin is all natural lady, so back away now.

Also why do people say “it’s full of chemicals” like that makes it automatically bad? What exactly is it that you think you’re made of guy?

Your face is full of chemicals.

But, I haven’t seen your crocodile.
Oh god, my head. I think I’m dying.  Well, you are, technically. Slowly. But
why not painlessly? I probably wouldn’t want it to be painless.  I’d want to
know it was coming.
Because October is not November, nor is it September. Ever. Well, unless you
really wanted it to be. But we’d all have to agree.

Like this. (source)

I need my hair to not be my hair anymore.  It needs to stop now.
The last man standing gets eaten.
Sometimes I wonder if anybody thinks…

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